Health Inspector

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Ass

My brother and I were opening up a new restaurant. It was a bit of a gamble for us but he was a superb chef and we were both willing to work hard. Would you believe all the red tape you have to go through? It’s like they don’t want you to succeed. We stuck it out though and were due to open shortly.

One last thing we had to do was get a health certificate from the council. Not a problem, I thought, because everything was new and clean. We had a man from the council coming around at about four to give us our inspection and certificate. My brother was off doing some last minute shopping and panicking and I was at the restaurant alone, feet up, taking it easy.

It was only two o’clock when the damned man showed up. Two hours early. He was lucky there was even anyone to meet him. But I was polite. No need to get his back up, after all. The fact that he was not all that much older than me, and quite a dish, helped. He introduced himself and told me to call him Tom. He liked to keep things friendly.

Anyway, he crawled all over the place, occasionally taking notes down in his little book. The entire time he was examining the place he was also flirting with me, and I quite happily flirted right back.

He finally finished and to my horror he looked at me, shaking his head. Needs work, he tells me. Needs work? The whole place was brand new and unused. What work could it possibly need? I asked for further detail and he gave me half a dozen of the nit-pickiest little flaws you could imagine. A set of fingerprints on the stove? Etc. Etc.

Not one of the things he mentioned couldn’t have been fixed in thirty seconds flat. With time left over. I protested, but he just shook his head and looked doleful.

The odd thing was, even though he wasn’t giving us the certificate, neither was he rejecting us out of hand. He was just kind of standing around looking sympathetic. It suddenly dawned on me that this nice man that I’d been flirting with was looking for some sort of payoff before he signed off. Bastard, I thought, trying to think of how you go about offering a bribe.

“Um,” I said, “I don’t suppose you, ah, um, you could. . .” My voice just trailed away. I didn’t know what to say.

He was looking at me and frowning.

“You wouldn’t be trying to offer me a bribe, would you?” he said repressively. “That would be totally against the law and not only could I not accept I’d have to report it.”

So what the fuck did he want?

“No, no,” I said hastily. “I was just wondering how long we have to get these things cleared up. I mean, you’re not officially due here until four o’clock.”

He gave me a cheerful grin.

“Ah, well,” he said. “I suppose ataşehir escort there’s nothing too serious here. I suppose I could sign off on the assumption that you’ll attend to these items and give me a kiss.”

I was earnestly nodding, thinking yes, just sign off. I’ll do the bits and pieces, and then that last bit hit me. I sort of reared back and gave him an ‘are you kidding me’ look.

“Just a friendly kiss,” he said, and I could see he was laughing at me, “because I’m doing you a friendly turn.”

Well as far as I was concerned it was a case of what the hell? I mean, I’ve kissed some frogs in my time and he looked more like a prince than some of them.

So I gave him his kiss and then stepped back and he just shook his head.

“I meant a proper kiss,” he said, and then he just pulled me towards him and kissed me.

Bloody hell that man could kiss. He must have studied the subject to do it that well. In nothing flat I was completely lost in his kiss, quite eager to expand my education in this area.

Now I want to explain something to you. I was wearing a long strapless sundress. You know the sort of thing. It had an elasticized top that holds it up above the boobs, with the skirt reaching down to my ankles. Naturally, with a strapless sundress I was also wearing a strapless bra. My panties were just a simple thong. Very simple. Any simpler and I wouldn’t have been wearing any. But the point I’m trying to make is that my dress was ankle length.

That’s why it came as a distinct shock to me when I felt this big fat cock starting to push its way inside me. I just froze for a moment, trying to sort out what was what. It dawned on me that the movement of my dress against my legs hadn’t been just the dress rubbing against me but the dress being drawn up and bunched around my waist. My thong had proved as much as a hindrance as a bit of string (which it resembled) and had just been flicked to the side.

While I was sorting all this out, that big fat cock had pushed past my lips and was starting to make real ground in getting to know me. I managed to pull my head away from Tom, breaking the kiss and looking at him in shock.

I was going to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, but it was bloody obvious that he knew. Even as I went to open my mouth he gave this little push, and he sank in even further. I wanted to tell him to take it out when my predicament suddenly dawned on. If I said stop, would he refuse to give us the health certificate?

While I was dithering, Tom was acting. His hands closed around my bottom and the next time he gave a little push he also pulled on my bottom, resulting in his erection kadıköy escort bayan pushing all the way home. Just like that I was suddenly skewered on Tom’s cock, mouth hanging open in shock and extremely aware of what was going on.

Now that he was safely in me, Tom didn’t give me another chance to say no. His hand clamped over the back of my head and dragged it towards him and he was kissing me again.

You know, the lips are really sensitive, picking up the lightest touch, and Tom was totally ravishing mine. But that was not enough of a distraction, I assure you, to pull my attention away from other parts of my body.

While one hand was holding my head in place, his other one had pulled down the top of my sundress. That’s the trouble with elastic. It’s quite willing to stretch for whoever pulls on it. Tom didn’t even bothered to unclip my bra. He’d just pushed it down to join my top, letting my boobs pop out and present themselves.

Neither was Tom dilatory about making their acquaintance. His hand seized the nearest one and he was fondling it and playing with my nipple.

So he was kissing me, and it was exciting, but my attention was drawn from that to this hand that was playing with my breasts, which were lapping up the attention and letting me know it. And on top of all that was Tom’s cock and the fun it was having.

Now I know I called it a big fat cock, but honestly, it couldn’t possibly be as big as it felt. It was the unexpectedness of the situation that was exaggerating its size, I was sure. Not that knowing that helped. It still felt big and fat and it was in me.

And if kept on coming into me. I’m sure it must have been withdrawing at some stage but all I was really aware of was this cock charging in, in, and in again. It never stopped. And as far as I was concerned the situation was not improved by my pussy deciding it like the action and eagerly welcoming each thrust. My own damn body was betraying me.

I mean, it was practically rape, and I was just lapping it up, returning Tom’s kiss, pushing my breasts into his groping hand and absolutely grinding my groin against him, trying to take even more of him into me.

This was not the demure young woman I thought myself to be. As soon as Tom’s cock had forced its way past my lips I seemed to turn into a lust crazed tart, banging him just as hard as he was banging me.

If you’ve ever seen a cook with a spiked mallet tenderising a steak then you’ll know how my pussy felt. Tom was tenderising it to an amazing degree. It was sensitive enough to pick up the least movement of his cock and if it could speak it would have been shouting more please.

The bench escort maltepe that Tom had backed me against was bolted to the floor, and thank god it was. Tom drove in so hard that I finished up with a crease across my bottom, pressed in by the edge of the bench. And all the time, my excitement levels were rising.

My lips were screaming with joy, my breasts were singing their happiness and my pussy was driving me wild with its shrieking elation. By the time Tom suddenly stiffened and started hosing me down I was long lost. The first splash was enough to take me over the edge and I just happily slipped away into nothing but the feelings that wracked my body.

When I was cognitive of what was happening around me I saw Tom writing on a sheet of paper and signing it off. He held it up and I could see the words Health Certificate across the top. Then he rolled it up and snapped a rubber band around it and handed it to me.

Without another word, Tom turned and left, leaving me standing there in a most bemused state.

The first thing I did was put down the certificate, go to the restaurant bathroom and have a good shower. I didn’t even want to guess at what was trickling down my legs. After that I returned to the main restaurant and started doing all those silly little things on Tom’s list. It didn’t take long. Then I sat down and relaxed.

Four o’clock tolled up and there was a knock on the door. I answered it and there was this grey looking older man there. He smiled, nodded, and announced he was from the health department for the inspection.

I’m like, hey, what?

I told him that someone had already been and given us a certificate, but he shook his head. He was the local inspector. No-one else. I invited him in to see the certificate.

He opened the certificate and looked it over. Then, without even cracking a smile, he started to read it to me.

“This is to certify that I have inspected the premises and found them free of cholera, measles, whooping cough and bubonic plague.”

He gave me a dry look.

“Not exactly the sort of things we look for, I’m sure you will agree. The rest of the certificate expands on things that you don’t have. I’m pleased to see that you don’t include a slaughterhouse on the premises.”

Very funny. I snatched the certificate off him and started reading. I suppose it was funny in a way and no doubt my brother would enjoy it. Me, I wasn’t amused.

I sat back while the real health inspector did his stuff, but I could swear I could hear him sniggering every so often. He finished up, complimented me on the state of the place and filled out a genuine health certificate, which I read carefully. He seemed to find that funny, as well.

He departed leaving me with the certificate and a question.

If I had yielded to Tom because I thought he was the health inspector did that mean, because he wasn’t the health inspector, it was rape, as I didn’t know who was screwing me?

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