Life Love and the Zombie Apocalypse

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Life and Love in the Time of the Zombie Apocalypse

Copyright (c) 2020 James Miehoff, All Rights Reserved.

This work may not be published whether for fee or free without this copyright.


The following is a work of fiction and as such all characters mentioned herein are fictional and any resemblance to any persons living, dead or fictional is coincidental. All characters mentioned herein that participate in sexual activities are adults (18 years of age or older).


The Zombie Apocalypse was a joke. I know you’ve all seen the stereotypical graveyard scene. You know the one, zombies sprouting out of the ground like flowers, shambling about screaming, “Brains”.

Well that didn’t happen. There is no magic involved, just physics and biology.

First off, most modern coffins are hermetically sealed. That would keep the stiff in. Next, they are typically buried in a ceramic or concrete vault with a one ton lid that is buried six feet deep. No undead corpses breaking through that lid. No digging through a couple tons of packed earth. And finally, most corpses are autopsied and embalmed. Having your insides pulled out generally puts a stop to reanimation. Plus formaldehyde will generally kill the virus cold in its tracks. So biology and physics ensures no hordes of the walking undead roaming the earth.

According to what I understand, the z-virus probably came from that comet tail the Earth went through in the early 1990’s. It became pretty much ubiquitous and everybody got it like chicken pox or the flu and it was no big deal. It was mostly harmless by itself. Fast forward to the pandemic of 2020. The coronavirus that swept the globe three times was the trigger. Covid-19c, the third major mutation, is the culprit. The z-virus apparently interacts with the Covid-19c antibodies at the time of your death. They can repair some trauma and then reanimate the tissue. Poof! A zombie is born.

If the damage is too severe, like a broken neck or decapitation, the body will flop for a while and then it finally runs out of energy and dies. If the damage can be repaired, it will lay there for a while and then suddenly get up and shamble around trying to kill people.

Contrary to Hollyweird, they don’t eat brains. Nor do they eat the ones they kill. They can’t eat anything. They are just trying to make more before they run out of whatever stored energy the body had at the time it died.

My first encounter with zombies was the summer I turned 19. My girlfriend, Sandy and I packed a picnic lunch and some fishing gear and headed out to our favorite make out spot down by the river.

I parked in the shade of a huge old oak and we crawled into the back seat of my pickup truck. I slipped her shirt up and sucked on her nipples until she pulled my head up and said, “Eat me.”

“Yes ma’am!” I replied and helped her pull her shorts off.

After her second huge orgasm, Sandy pulled my head up, looked me in the eyes and asked, “Do you have any condoms? I don’t think I want to be a virgin anymore. “

“Uh-huh,” was all I could think of to say. I didn’t want to be a virgin anymore either.

Reaching into the pocket on the back of the driver’s seat, I pulled out the box of Goobers and pulled out a condom.

Don’t laugh, that’s a great place to stash things. Nobody eats Goobers willingly.

As I tore the packet open with my teeth, I ogled Sandy. She was 5 foot 4 inches of goddamn sexy. She was the epitome of the Midwestern high school cheerleader. Blonde, big tits, tiny waist and curvy hips, I damn near came in my hand while rolling the condom on.

They say timing is everything. So of course that is when the first zombie slapped the side of the truck. Looking up, I nearly shit myself as this bloated pasty white face slapped itself against the window.

The second thud came from right behind me. By now my hardon was as gone as fast as it was when I went to Chicago and did the Polar Plunge with some football buddies.

The third zombie announced his presence by banging on the hood of the truck.

“Get dressed,” I yelled at Sandy as I pulled up my pants. She stopped screaming and nodded.

I pulled my cell phone out and dialed 911. After screaming at the dispatcher, I got the message across and was told to hold on as the Zombie Response Team was on its way.

After a couple of minutes it was apparent that they weren’t going to be able to break in and I put my shorts and boxers back on. Just in time.

The big black Zombie Response Team jeep pulled up and Sheriff Ben jumped out with a capture pole and a big grin. He wrangled the first zombie down and hogtied it before the other two noticed. As the other two came around the pickup truck, his deputy parked the jeep and used a net on the second zombie while Ben used a baton to knock the feet out from under the third and in a few seconds the men had the third one strung up like a calf roped at the rodeo.

After doing a quick scout around, the deputy declared, “All clear.”

Sheriff Ben had dragged the three zombies over by the jeep. He motioned ataşehir escort bayan for us to get out of the truck.

“So what were you two doing the hell down by the river?” Sheriff Ben began. “As if I didn’t have a pretty good idea already.”

I stammered out the prepared excuse about a picnic and fishing and pointed to the cooler and the fishing gear in the bed of the truck.

“I’d be a lot more inclined to believe you,” he said with a chuckle, “Except for the condom wrapper and condom on the floor of your backseat.” He paused for a second, and then continued with a big grin, “Not to mention that your girl has her shorts on backwards.”

Sandy looked down and immediately turned bright candy apple red. Looking around frantically, she ran to the other side of the truck and when she returned, her shorts were back the right way.

Just then a large panel van pulled up and Dr. Foster, the coroner got out. She was a big woman, like bodybuilder big, not fat big. She came over to the Sheriff’s prizes and looked down.

“That’s probably the three fishermen from upriver that went missing the other day,” she drawled.

“Need a hand?” the deputy asked.

“Nah. I got these guys,” she said as she casually picked the first one up and tossed him in the van.

“Bobby, I hope you don’t mind, but it may be a day or two before I can get your net back. He’s pretty tangled up.”

“S’ok, Miz Foster,” the deputy responded. “I’ve got a couple more back at HQ.”

With loading complete, the van sped down the dirt ruts.

The sheriff & his deputy made a quick 180 in the jeep and pulled up alongside me.

“Good job keeping your cool, kid. We’ll see that you get a share of the bounty.” Then they were gone.

I went over to Sally and gave her a hug. Before I could say anything, she lifted her head up and said, “No.”

All I got out was, “But,” and she continued, “I am so not in the mood any more it is not funny. Take me home. I want to spend the next 10 hours in the shower.”

I nodded and we climbed into my truck and left. I flicked the condom and wrapper out the window when we hit the highway.

The next day, Sandy sent me a text breaking up with me. Fuck My Life.

Two days later my Dad had a talk with me about how it was time that I looked into getting a more permanent vocation than Xbox and delivering pizzas. Fuck My Life Sideways.

The next day, I drove the hour each way to the capital and filled out an application for the police academy and the Army. I was never college material, being that I was a mediocre football player and a worse student; I figured those were my best options.

To everyone’s surprise, the police academy got to me first, by only 20 minutes. Two weeks later, I was running laps around downtown with a bunch of other losers. But I was in my element. It was like I was born for police work. I graduated second in my class. Marne just beat me out with that razor sharp mind of hers, even though I beat her in all the physical activities.

Both of us were asked to try out for the Zombie Response Team and we both agreed.

“Have you ever seen a zombie?” Marne that night asked as we lay cuddling in my bed.

“Yep,” I said, “About nine months ago I helped capture three of them.”

I had her full attention as she rolled over to face me. Distracted by those oh-so beautiful 34B titties of hers, I began to idly trace the almost invisible tan lines.

Giggling, she slapped my hand and said, “So give. I want to hear all about it.”

Pulling my hand back, I spun a tale of a teenaged boy going down to the river and getting accosted by three Zs. I edited the story as I went along to remove mention of Sandy. I didn’t think the story would be quite as interesting for what I had in mind later if I included our aborted attempt to lose our virginity.

So as I finished up spinning a mostly fictional tale of battling the three zombies down by the river, I finished up with an all-out assault on those perky breasts of hers and spreading her legs to leave more DNA evidence inside her.

A week later we received the news. She was accepted to the ZRT in Northern California and I was accepted to the ZRT in downstate Illinois, coincidently just ten miles from my home. It was bittersweet that night. We both knew when we started that there was a chance we would not get jobs near each other, but with the hopeless optimism of youth, we were sure that we would stay together.

The next night, we were both pretty drunk when we rolled in from the unofficial and unsanctioned “graduation” party. I locked the door, turned and ran right into Marne. I thought she had continued into the apartment, but she had stopped. I started to apologize, but she just wrapped her arms around me, buried her head into my chest and began to cry. This left me no choice but to stroke her back and whisper what I hoped were soothing phrases.

Eventually she wound down and still sniffling, she looked up at me and whispered chokingly, “It’s time.”

I didn’t have a clue what was going on in her head, but I let myself get led by the escort kadıköy hand to the bedroom.

As we got to the bedroom, she turned and unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it down off my shoulders and left my arms trapped. Seeing that I wasn’t struggling, she smiled a little and then reached for my belt. It only took a moment before my pants and underwear were on the floor. I lifted one foot at a time and she freed that leg. Apparently, she just wanted my hands constrained.

Stepping back, she began to sway to music in her head and slowly began to strip. It was sexy as hell. I was deeply regretting that my cell phone was in the pocket of my pants. That was one sexy dance I would have loved to memorialize. She turned her back when she unsnapped her bra but she left it hanging on by a thread when she turned back around. My eyes were laser focused on that simple lacy garment as I wished for telekinetic powers to make it fall off. She undid her belt and unzipped the skirt, but I kept focusing on that bra. It would wiggle and sway and I would get a tantalizing glimpse of the flesh that it covered. The beat of her music picked up and she began to dance around more vigorously. Her skirt slipped down and was unceremoniously kicked to the closet. Her bra finally flew off and my cock throbbed in response to the loveliness of those curves.

She came up and slithered around me tantalizing me with her now sweat glistening skin. On one of the passes along me, she stopped behind me and grabbed me, pressing her boobs into my arms and reaching around to grab my cock with both hands. I exhaled with a grunt not realizing I had been holding my breath.

She slithered around to my front and without hesitation inhaled my cock into her mouth. A heart wrenching moan came from my lips. Her dancing had so energized me; I came in her mouth as she tried to push me past her gag reflex. Choking, she gamely tried to swallow my seed as I struggled vainly to free my hands. I pulled my hips back trying not to drown her and ended up spraying her neck and her tits as I continued to come. Finally I got a hand free and I dropped to me knees to hold her.

“Are you all right?” I asked.

She nodded, and coughing she rose up to hold me tight against her. Her body slimy with my cum squished against me. My cock lay drooling against her panties after trailing a long line of down the length of her body. We sat there rocking together as she cleared her throat. It took a couple of times before she could whisper hoarsely, “You surprised me. I wasn’t expecting you to come that fast.”

“I surprised myself,” I said, kissing the top of her head. “That dance was so damn sexy and you surprised me when you sucked my cock down all the way like that. I was so turned on that you just triggered me.”

“You should feel my panties,” she said after finally catching her breath. “It got me so turned on seeing you stand there with your hands tied up and your dick throbbing. Knowing that I could do anything I wanted to you. It was empowering.”

“You should have brought some handcuffs home…”

Marne giggled at the thought of that. Then she got quiet. A minute later she said quietly, “I was trying to take all of your cock like those girls do in the pornos. I got a book on how to do it and I’ve been practicing on the blue dildo, the one that is almost the same size and shape as you. I thought I could do it, but I wasn’t ready for you to come like that and it caught me off guard.”

“I’m sorry —,” I started.

She cut me off by putting a finger on my lips. “Nobody needs to be sorry. I am proud of how horny I got you and I did get you into my throat when you came, so I think I can get all of you down another time. ”

Marne leaned back and our bodies made a sucking sound as we parted. She continued giggling, “And this is a first. I don’t think you have ever come all over my tits before.”

“Well, how ’bout if we take a shower and I wash you off since I got you all sticky,” I offered.

“And I’ll wash you off, since I got you all sticky too.”

Laughing, we made our way to the shower.

As we waited for the water to warm up, I was seated on the lid of the toilet which brought her tits even with my mouth. I pulled her to me and began sucking on one of them.

She tried to pull back saying, “Their icky.”

“Don’t care,” I mumbled with a mouth full of boob and nipple. By then I had my tongue lapping across the nipple while sucking as much boob as I could into my mouth. With one hand holding her in place, the other was latched onto her other boob and was cupping it and rolling the nipple between thumb and forefinger. Her objections ceased as she leaned into me with her head falling back and a soft moan escaping her lips. With a pop, I released her boob from my mouth and used both hands to scoop up some of my cum and began to rub it into her boobs, focusing on the nipples.

“Damn,” she said loudly. “You sure know how to show a girl a good time.”

She pushed back from me and slid her panties down her legs. I immediately snatched them up and shoved my nose into them. She was right, they were bostancı escort soaked and they were intoxicating. Just the fragrance began to arouse me and when she said, “Come on big boy, we are wasting all the hot water,” I stood up with my cock pointing at the ceiling again.

She slid the shower door open and grabbing my cock, pulled me into the shower with her. I went willingly.

After a lot of soapy fun, she rinsed my cock off and knelt down in front of me. With water streaming over both of us, she slowly put my cock into her mouth again and then looked up.

“I’m not going to come, yet,” I said, answering her unasked question. She nodded and continued to swallow my member. When I hit the back of her throat she stopped and I could feel her start to gag a little. This had happened before and I never pressed her on it. This time, she grabbed my hips with her hands and pulled and I could feel my cock going past her gag spot until she stopped with her lips to the flesh over my pubic bone. The feeling of that was amazing but seeing it was even better. She began to reverse until just the tip of my cock was between her lips and then she went forward again. This time there was no gaging or hesitation. I slid smoothly down the length of her mouth and deep into her throat. Not for the last time that night, I wished for my camera.

She did this several times until I felt that electric feeling in my balls start to build. I stopped her and pulled myself out of her mouth. She gave me a puzzled look so I said, “I was just about to come again and it’s not fair. You deserve some fun too.”

So I shut off the water and helped her up. We stepped out and I grabbed a towel and began to dry her off. “What’s all this?” she asked.

“The royal treatment, my princess,” I replied.

She giggled. Two minutes later we were in bed and I was between her thighs tasting the source of that heavenly aroma that had permeated her panties. She claimed not to know how many orgasms she had while I ate her. But, I think it was at least six. The fifth and sixth ones were when I had my thumb inserted into her anus and my middle two fingers inserted into her pussy. A friend back home used to call that “Brunswicking” because of its similarity to holding a bowling ball. All I know was it felt amazing to feel my fingers inside her just separated by what felt like a condom’s thickness of skin and to feel her orgasms as I sucked on her clit like a mini-cock.

She pushed my head away after the last orgasm and whispered, “No more. I need to catch my breath.”

I stopped after one more kiss on her pillar of pleasure and slid my fingers out of her. She moaned and shivered as my thumb left her.

I climbed up the bed and as soon as I came within reach she pulled me tight and locked her lips with mine. After a few moment of unrestrained tongue wrestling, she pulled back and looked at me saying, “It’s time.”

Puzzled, I looked at the alarm clock, but she pulled my head back to look at her. “You weren’t my first blowjob,” she started, “So you didn’t get my oral V-Card. You weren’t my first fuck, so you didn’t get my vaginal V-Card. But I want you to be the first to have my ass.”

While I lay there blinking in surprise, she pulled my pillow down and slid it under her hips. A bottle of lube appeared from somewhere and she squeezed a big glob of it onto her fingers and reached down and began to rub it in somewhere. Her hand came back and another big glob went onto her fingers and then she applied it to my cock.

“Go slow,” she said. “I want you to take me like this, face to face, so I can look into your eyes as you fuck my ass.”

I nodded and as if in a dream, I positioned myself between her thighs. She pulled up her legs and held them next to her body, her hands holding them under her knees. This had the effect of squeezing her tits together and lifting her butt so that I had a good view of her little brown hole winking at me. I grabbed the bottle of lube and squeezing some onto my fingers, I started by inserting my index finger slowly. This elicited a moan. Sliding it in and out and dribbling more lube on the juncture, I got it slippery and smoothly finger fucked her ass with one finger. Encouraged by her moans I added a second finger. And got an, “Oh my god that feels good.” With two fingers sliding smoothly in and out I couldn’t stand it anymore. I pulled my fingers out and pressed the tip of my cock at the pulsing opening and pushed. She squeaked and I stopped. “It’s ok,” she said. “Keep going.”

I nodded and pushed and felt the head of my cock squeeze past a second ring. I was in. I stopped again and she said, “Keep going. It feels funny. But it is a good funny. I feel full and tingly.” So I pressed on until I was about half way in. She was moaning at this point but not screaming so I pulled back and then pushed in. This time she started moaning, “Oh my god,” over and over again. So I pulled back and paused and then pushed all the way in. It wasn’t exactly a scream, but it wasn’t exactly words either. So I stopped and then her anal muscles clamped down and she began to thrash her head from side to side and buck her hips. This seemed to last forever but finally she released her death grip on my cock and stopped thrashing and looked up at me with the most glorious smile and whispered, “Thank you for being so patient. That was the most amazing orgasm I have ever had.”

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